so much working through me...good, steady healing...the last few days the exact things came into my life
i needed to help set a sacred stage for my healing...i cant say i am 100% yet...my body is literally vibrating with healing energy and peace...i cant really describe much of this
right now..i just know it is part of a healing unfolding...
a friend gave me a drum healing...i went into a journey...
inside of me a good part was white flowers...around my heart and above...below was a wet sludge of grey cement...the cement was my sorrow...it was growing and hardening...i went away from my body...i was back in my childhood experiencing sorrow...and then i was at the base of a waterfall...
there was a cluster of white flowers and a waterfall...they were my guides...i was in a pool of water...drowning...the waterfall rushed down and pushed all the water out...i became this mud woman...as i stood all of these small white flowers began to grow on me...
i struggled to climb to the shore...in each of the four directions a woman stood on different rocks...a gentle asian woman dressed in dancing ribbons, an african woman, a hippie type woman and a woman with a tough new york accent...i feel like i should know her but i dont...i feel like the other women at the shore i will meet soon...new york woman spoke to me firmly but with kindness...leading me up on the shore to a friend i know who does reiki...she was to act as the fire keeper...she took me to a gathering of other women...
one drumming and holding space...others standing around me as i stretched out in the grass near the fire...i was mud and white flowers...an owl guide was perched overhead watching over us...she was the sky direction...many women were there...women i knew or have known...some i have yet to know...and there was a woman bringing water from a spring in a beautiful urn...she poured water into others cups and bowls and gourds...and then they poured water over me...bathing me...the flowers departed and took root around me...they tenderly washed me...some humming and others saying kind words...then they
stood back...
my chest opened up and out came black snakes...many...dissolving as they touched the white flowers...the women chanted and sang....the drum grew louder...and then something else came from my chest...a beautiful snake like creature with a small dragon head and small dragon like wings...it moved quickly and it made a very interesting sound...very steady sound...and it vibrated ....my body is still vibrating from it...this creature was a rainbow of colors...shimmering and smooth...
and then a symbol reappeared as the rainbow serpent kept coiling and racing in and around me...this symbol hovered over the fire...this symbol that has been with me for weeks now...since i was shocked from the stove explosion...a friend told me this morning it is the tibetan fire serpent symbol...makes sense too...alot does all of a sudden...
even coming out of the session and financially broke i get online and see i sold two paintings...the exact amount i needed for bills...the timing and verything happening lately brought me to this wailing tears of relief moment...i havent cried like that in a long time...a profound grace came over me...i cant call it anything else...like i felt loved and taken care of in a way that was full of loving kindness...it was like this voice that was unspoken but felt...saying i was loved and i felt it...and it hasnt left...i feel like i am inside a prayer today...as if god is praying love into me...does this make sense?...it is a very tender feeling of grace i am in today...very simply relaxed and calm...steady...this is what surrender feels like...and i realize it doesnt happen all at once or one time...but is continuous...i cant even explain it any further...
inside of me a good part was white flowers...around my heart and above...below was a wet sludge of grey cement...the cement was my sorrow...it was growing and hardening...i went away from my body...i was back in my childhood experiencing sorrow...and then i was at the base of a waterfall...
there was a cluster of white flowers and a waterfall...they were my guides...i was in a pool of water...drowning...the waterfall rushed down and pushed all the water out...i became this mud woman...as i stood all of these small white flowers began to grow on me...
i struggled to climb to the shore...in each of the four directions a woman stood on different rocks...a gentle asian woman dressed in dancing ribbons, an african woman, a hippie type woman and a woman with a tough new york accent...i feel like i should know her but i dont...i feel like the other women at the shore i will meet soon...new york woman spoke to me firmly but with kindness...leading me up on the shore to a friend i know who does reiki...she was to act as the fire keeper...she took me to a gathering of other women...
one drumming and holding space...others standing around me as i stretched out in the grass near the fire...i was mud and white flowers...an owl guide was perched overhead watching over us...she was the sky direction...many women were there...women i knew or have known...some i have yet to know...and there was a woman bringing water from a spring in a beautiful urn...she poured water into others cups and bowls and gourds...and then they poured water over me...bathing me...the flowers departed and took root around me...they tenderly washed me...some humming and others saying kind words...then they
stood back...
my chest opened up and out came black snakes...many...dissolving as they touched the white flowers...the women chanted and sang....the drum grew louder...and then something else came from my chest...a beautiful snake like creature with a small dragon head and small dragon like wings...it moved quickly and it made a very interesting sound...very steady sound...and it vibrated ....my body is still vibrating from it...this creature was a rainbow of colors...shimmering and smooth...
and then a symbol reappeared as the rainbow serpent kept coiling and racing in and around me...this symbol hovered over the fire...this symbol that has been with me for weeks now...since i was shocked from the stove explosion...a friend told me this morning it is the tibetan fire serpent symbol...makes sense too...alot does all of a sudden...
even coming out of the session and financially broke i get online and see i sold two paintings...the exact amount i needed for bills...the timing and verything happening lately brought me to this wailing tears of relief moment...i havent cried like that in a long time...a profound grace came over me...i cant call it anything else...like i felt loved and taken care of in a way that was full of loving kindness...it was like this voice that was unspoken but felt...saying i was loved and i felt it...and it hasnt left...i feel like i am inside a prayer today...as if god is praying love into me...does this make sense?...it is a very tender feeling of grace i am in today...very simply relaxed and calm...steady...this is what surrender feels like...and i realize it doesnt happen all at once or one time...but is continuous...i cant even explain it any further...
i sense
i have been sent reiki and good thoughts and love and prayers from many of you...and i am
grateful...i leave tomorrow for maryland for a couple of weeks...i know i will still be letting this new shift unfold more...i feel as if i am being changed in a way...on a deeper level...i am simply being while this happens...i feel...well like the cells in my body are being rebooted...changed...cleansed...i feel...different..still going through it...parts unexpressed here...thoughts evolving as i accept love in...
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