maine and beyond...

irene blew thru...power out...a half hour of net at panera...so much to write about yet so little time...revolution is happening behind my eyes...the old blew away...new days...sunny days...at peace and finding newness all around me...a lightness...a happiness...so when i have time i will write about the amazing moments of the past week and counting...the photos of nature...the poetry filling my veins...the ideas for artwork itching in my fingertips...my heart is vibrating like a rose quartz crystal...my feet fall confidently on my path...my body flows thru my days like ocean waves...my eyes sing like stars...my soul spreads her wings and windsurfs the sky of my knowing...all is good and goodness comes...

roadtrippin'

off to the maine council of women tomorrow as hurricane irene plays tag with us all on the east coast...the power of this weather is amazing...may everyone come thru it safely...i will be traveling back down to rhode island on sunday...if weather permits me to...and i hope between those days to gather my strength and sweep away the last debri of a life that didnt fit...the winds of change are powerful...the hurricane a perfect metaphor...

my grandmother's name was irene...this hurricane fits the self work i have been doing too...i have been working very much on breaking the familial patterns we women get trapped in...my grandmother and now my mother have had very similiar sad lives...i have carried part of their unhappiness with me and am returning it to them...my life in many ways has been very different...though the coping skills they lacked i have often been in short supply of as well...so this last bit of self work is to deal with this wounding and hurt related to my upbringing...i feel so fortunate to know how to approach my healing and feel so blessed to be healing...my life path is going to find a better winter than my mother is facing and my grandmother faced...and this autumn of my life is to be very sweet and gentle now...i know this and am happy about that...

so everyone on the east coast be careful and be prepared...

prayer flags

on these huge chunks of rose quartz morning glory leaves

 unfurled themselves like prayer flags...

i am always humbled at such moments

to be so touched by a simple image...

rose quartz by the way opens the heart to self-love... 

seeker of the green

i am sloshing around in my thoughts this morning...eager to go into nature again...eager to remove distractions and worries...soon i will go into the woods of maine and sit...walking deeper into my soul...further away from the tediousness of the man made world...to the pure place...to the temple of spirit...that sacred collective field of knowing... happily i will open up to the cool spring of renewal...filling myself with the healing energy to draw from when i return to the world of childish behaviors and ego-dysfunctional actions of others...
remember nature has no judgment in her actions...no ego...mother earth simply lives in the now as the past lives on and within her...it is a perfect place to go for renewal... i step into nature and feel free...if it is a beach i stand on, i feel the womb of the world before me...if into a forest, i feel embraced and accepted as a creature born from that original womb...nothing more or less...i am an equal to the deer and the bear...
there among the trees and birdsong i feel love...a better love than the confused love humans (myself included) offers up to one another...love gets tampered with here in this world of tarred roads and cluttered dwellings....love gets lost in the distractions of selfish desires...in nature those distractions fall away... when i walk in the woods i am conscious of my heartbeat, my footfall, what animals are around me, the scents that come and go, the heat or cold that presses against my skin...i slowly let go of the tension in my body and become who i remember myself to be...and in this moment i know who i am and hear my own thoughts...
but i dont walk into nature enough these days...i get lost in this mirage of reality...not understanding so much in this world today...not understanding the twisted expressions of love, the vulgar pursuits of happiness, the enjoyment of ignorance...i look around me and feel foreign...i feel polluted...i feel myself slipping into the ways of this world...and so into nature i am going soon...to maine...an amazing wildness to the land there... i am starving to walk into the green...to know my authentic self and to experience love in its most compassionate, kindest expressions...the love which comes from within...and then to feel my mind clear in the way nature sweeps away the clouds of worldly concerns...to wake up...to know...to fill myself up and go back into the world with a well of strength and clarity...renewed in the way only nature has the power to renew...

tree hugger...

music to the rescue:)...like this feel better song...

goldfish

doodling to me is a great escape...filling up a page of my journal is a time removed stretch of existence in the absolute now-ness created with this simple act of pen to paper...

fanning the flames

fire is as old as the earth...and suffering is as old as humanity...but being a victim is a modern invention...stop being a wimp...you dont have to be mean in doing this...just stop throwing yourself on the sacrificial fire...instead burn up the old junk you have been dragging around with you for years...and then smile and walk away...nothing is real anyway...why treat it like it is all soooo important...love is real...so love...the rest?...props...

rainy day time travelin'

in 1990 i was cabin sitting for a friend and caring for her dogs...she had just built the cabin and bits of scrap wood were piled beneath the porch to use for kindling...i had my paints so i took a piece of wood roughly 3"X5" and painted a small version of her cabin and the hills as a thank you for having a lovely place to stay for a week to work...that got me started painting widgets as i call them all these years later...i dont paint them often now but i do like offering them for sale at events from time to time...inexpensive but pleasant little pieces...tree silhouettes and landscapes...as fridge magnets and pins usually...

back then they were my bread and butter as i sat out in the country painting them in my isolation...then i would take them to craft shows or have them for sale at local shops...as i was always moving they came in handy to be so small and easy to travel with...only years later did i start painting on canvas again...

today i once again painted my widgets...easy to travel with...inexpensive but glad to have the money as i navigate this inbetween time of finding my way to someplace else...for company today i played an old movie i loved as a kid and watch from time to time...bette davis in "a pocketful of miracles"...crying from the memory of other times i have watched it...crying as i feel this woman's suffering in the movie...the rain falls and i paint my widgets...remembering all the places i have been in the years in between...all those places i sat at a table painting these tiny worlds...today wondering if i will ever do this again ...any of this...in the future...or will this be the last time i start at sqaure one again...painting widgets...

yet the gratitude i feel for having these little widgets...this connection with that cabin and the younger me...is immense...i smile and wave at her...she was so hopeful and brave...so ready to let so much light into her life...to love and be loved...she is a good teacher today...her in her flannel work shirt with paint on it...dogs at her feet infront of a fireplace...sun setting over those blue west virginia hills...the light slanting in just that slow summer way...creating a watermelon pink in the sinking sun...crickets chirping and the fireflies blinking across the field of queen annes lace and daisies...in the distance a dog barks...the dogs at my feet lift their heads but dont bother to call back...my younger self gets up and makes a pot of mint tea and returns to her work...wondering what is ahead for her...from there to a few weeks stay at an intentional community of back to earthers who stone grind their own corn to make cornbread and debate about having chickens or not...

tonight i dont have the life in the country...the mellowing down of an evening...i have noisy neighbors and a tiredness that aches my heart...but i am still that widget painter...and do imagine a day at the beach soon, a walk in the woods, a visit to some favorite trees here...a roadtrip and then...i dunno...just like the younger me i know as well...sometimes you have to accept the unknown and enjoy the simple unfolding of each day...

raindrops and flowers

have you ever gone out after a rainstorm and looked at the flowers...they are bejeweled...

2012

earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, floods, red tide poisoning, asteroids, hurricanes, riots, famine, mass murders....oh wait that is this year...

a mayan calendar is supposedly ending...astrological events are occurring...doomsayers are dooming us...new agers speak of a cosmic shift...and i think many folks just hope something happens that will take us out of all this craziness and into a more rational and more compassionate way of dealing with our lives...

some may feel like their own life may end in 2012...well i can foresee deaths...there will most certainly be those who die...but most will live...just like this year...and i can also say with certainty countless of us, myself included, will be dead...seventy years from now...

there are things you can control and drive yourself crazy about even but death?...it will get you and you have no control over it...oh you can postpone it...you can become absorbed with taking care of yourself...giving yourself a handful more years...maybe...if the proverbial bus doesnt hit you or a microscopic parasite doesnt take you down...you might be one of those folks who gets a fuss made about them for living to be a hundred and five and can still hold a half decent conversation with others between naps...

look at it...how much time do you spend fighting off death?...probably the same amount of time you extended your life i bet...what would happen if you spent an entire month living like you were dying?...like it was the end of the world...what values would shift for you?...would loved ones mean more?...would possessions mean less?...would you have that piece of cake without worrying about calories?...would you sit and watch a sunset rather than workout at the gym?...would you do that one thing you always wanted to do but never took the time to do?...would you say i love you more?...hold your lovers hand as you sat together?...fill your bedroom with flowers?...stand in the rain?...what would you do?

the world is ending...lets say it...you and i...our world is coming to an end...heck maybe mine will end in a month...you never know...what will i do with the last month of my life? what would you do?...and would you be happy to live on after that month?...after you let go and finally lived the kind of life you had dreamed of?

how about it? enter bizarro world with me...live like you are dying...so you can die like you are living...

winged woman...

a touchdrawing image "mono print"...made from an imbedded image on the touchdrawing board after a session...

re-birth

keep thinking of my paintings today...wondering where some are i sold many years ago now...hoping my newer ones find a home soon...feeling the unborn ones gather inside me making themselves ready...in the meantime i am in the middle of my own re-birth in life and in art...which seems to be the same thing to me...it is a sometimes very painful process...but a re-birth i am very proud of...

in moments when i feel as if my heart will give up and i will send my soul home to the place we all came from i still push on...breathing...moving towards something just out of sight...having faith..."this too shall pass"...and so even in a moment when today i felt the low ebb of hopelessness i also felt the peace reach in and let me know it is all exactly as it should be to get me to something better...

honestly the human part does wish the something better comes soon...but the spirit part of me is open and accepting and finds even the humor of my present silly struggles...

my spiritual guides...what some may call guardian angels even...are nudging at me today...telling me to laugh at it all...to not take one moment of it all to heart...and i do laugh at it...humor has a way of wearing down the sharp edges that try to cut at you...humor says here look at it this way...see how it looks dressed up in a polka dot moo moo?...not so scary now is it...no its not...

and so the day evolves...made it through a few minutes of self doubt...seeing the humor in what brought me down...knowing others have greater challenges in their lives than mine...grateful to have what i do have...and the sense to know to laugh and let go...

drum healing at the beach

yesterday i went to stand in the water and drum for healing...the moontide was very low...the water was rocky and there were many periwinkles (small snail-like creatures who cling to the rocks)...i took off my shoes and waded in...standing on the other side of the large rock...knee deep...

as i drummed i closed my eyes and focused in on the light that shined through my eyelids...this light i added to the sound of the drumbeat...and placed this sound upon the face on the water lapping up against my legs...

i felt the shift...the moment of connection with this great ocean of healing...it is within us all...it is around us...it is everywhere unseen...and i took from that ocean endless ribbons of healing and sent them out to everyone...letting their higher selves know it was there...there in an attainable way whenever they needed it...to ease their suffering...whether it was suffering in the mind or body...if they felt disconnected from spirit i offered the healing ribbons of light as a re-connection...whatever part of the body needed a physical healing the ribbons of soothing light wrapped themselves around it...if they faced hardship and didnt know what to do i offered ribbons charged with clarity...if they felt lonely i offered ribbons of comfort and companionship...and so the drumming went on...time was removed...i drummed until i felt the world around me was saturated and sending out these countless ribbons of calm healing light to all who needed it...

as i came back to myself and turned around i heard teenagers and realized a busload had come while i was busy drumming...as i put on my shoes a couple of them came up to me and were curious...as i talked to them others came until i was surrounded by the curious crowd of young people...gladly i explained to them what i was doing and why...a couple even took the drum i offered and had at it...

so the fear i had of being seen while drumming was gone...and it wouldnt have been if i hadnt moved away from my fears and stepped out into the day to drum...lesson number?...i have lost count at this point...but a very good lesson and a blaring example of what fear holds us back from doing and robs others of experiencing as well...

be brave today...do something you have been afraid to do...

life-guarding

these pictures of a swallowtail are taken as i was rescuing one from a swimming pool...he was in the pool on his "back"...wings out...i thought he had passed until i touched his legs and he grabbed hold...but the physics of water wouldnt allow him to pull himself up so gently i scooped him up and put him on the side of the pool...

he struggled to even lift those beautiful wings but he walked along the edge...

the ends of the wings were tattered...i didnt know if it was from age or being a daredevil or from the accident but i knew the wings needed to dry and not poolside...

so i gently got him on to my hand taxi...

and made my way to a nearby family of echinacea...

where he spent the night and in the morning stayed until the new day called out...

a drum healing...

i have done a series of "re-focusing" journeys...and as i was doing them a friend offered an interesting idea...what if i did exactly what my guides told me to do for a year...and blogged about it...yikes i thought...i have been fighting with them lately...not wanting to do what i know is for my greater good and healing...

why do we fight what we know is best for us?...really...it is silly to cling to unhealthy patterns and behaviors and even people?...but it all feels safer...our adult "blankies" we carry around on the inside of us...if i do this thing i know this result will happen so i will do this thing until i am exhausted by it...but the dysfunctional thing is a known...it many cause me to suffer but it is what i know and can in an odd way control...

but to step away from the same old reactions and to break karmic patterns...wow how scary huh?...i laugh at myself and shake my head...

the guides tell me to do more public drumming...i cant drum in a park full of people...they might think i am weird or creepy even...the guides tell me to paint more images from spirit...i cant my ego argues...it will look insane and i wont make a dime...go teach people to create from their spirits my guides say and i say back no one signs up for classes...teach it they insist...find a way...meanwhile i am broke and frustrated with money and housing issues...

the guides tell me to do this or that and i say no way...at the same time i WANT to drum more and i WANT to paint more spirited paintings and i LOVE teaching...

i hold on to my blankie and yet that blankie is a smelly, nasty bit of cloth now...almost gone in fact...yet i cling to it...

what do i cling to?....ego...fear of being unkindly judged...yep...big old dumb brute childish greedy selfish EGO...

so ego ya gotta go!...you keep coming in and messing up my happiness...you keep me from doing more good for myself and others...

this morning i did a journey and i was standing in the middle of my soul...a lush green place...a deer came to me and from her back a drum was shed...i picked it up and knew i was in the presence of a very powerful guide...i hadnt seen her in a long time...as i was drumming my inner world filled with many animals and trees and a natural spring bubbled through the ground and formed a pond...boulders pushed up through the earth...birds flew...and flowers bloomed...

how could i not follow my bliss in this place...how could i not be myself...my true self...fully...and how could i not take it out into my daily world...

so today i go to the water near me and stand in it with my drum...i am going to drum in a public place!...and offer healing to all who need it...if you need healing...emotionally, spiritually, physically...it is there for you...i will be drumming at noon my time...but the ribbons of healing will be within your reach anytime you need them...simply close your eyes and reach for them and wrap them around your wound, your suffering, your pain...it is a ribbon of watery light...cool, calm, gentle...full of love and peace and kindness...just for you...

Opening

 The Feminine World

The flower slowly finds her shape...her curves...reaching into velvet pockets of scented pleasure.

My nose inches in, touching the softness of Nature's Soul...I am in the Feminine World.

today

an open hand...an open heart...no fear...no doubt...all the way alive...breath in...breath out...live the day as the answer to your most loving prayers...feel your own soul...create a field of peace and joy within and around you...the world needs your Light now more than ever...be happiness...

flower power

as one who approaches art as part of her spiritual practice,

a flower is a most generous muse...

love IS the answer to everything...

so i ended up going to the beech tree earlier...i was thinking about her so much i just needed to be there...thought i was going to just snap some photos and visit...but noooo...i was sent on a very beautiful headtrip...i was taken in by this wise tree and shown how to transform my own pain and many doubts about myself...here i was writing about the previous exercise of becoming a tree and to bring the wind in and...well... the beech tree took me on that trip into her and back out again...

so i may write stream-of-conscious thoughts as i get further into this...but it is good for you to see how this form of writing gives way to greater insights...here goes...

i took a picture of her "wound" and as i did i began to see all the tree carving people had done...i had seen this before and was bothered by it but this time it seemed so raw on her body...some were old scars and some fresh...did they ask permission of her? did they know it is an unhealthy thing to do to a tree?! were they so stupid and selfish...i was getting elf-hopping angry...

and then i felt it...as i was snapping shots and getting more angry...i felt the beginning of my own rooted place of wounds...ones i had lessened...some that held on...others i thought i had released...i was connecting to the tree and she to me...her years of being carved into...couples in love...dates and initials trailing up her great trunk...she couldnt hate them...they wanted to etch into a strong place the love they felt...even if the love faded and the lovers parted she carried their tattoo...people came and went but few truly saw her...felt her...reached out gently to her...they would strike her trunk with one of her own fallen limbs or strip her leaves and break her branches...they would throw bottles at her...they would climb her in silly drunken displays of immaturity...they would urinate on her...they would fight beneath her shade...she felt their confusion and suffering yet they would not reach out to her for healing...

i wept for them and myself...i felt the tears down my face as if it were sap trailing down her...my eyes changed colors i noticed later...more green than usual or maybe the wash of tears gave this illusion...i simply wept...for how we humans can become so lost...the suffering and the waste...the cure ignored...love and respect and compassion...but...at my moment of turning to complete despair and resentment towards the way things are she changed the moment...she brought in the light...

and i kept taking pictures...feeling the light grow...until i couldnt take any more pictures...i leaned against the tree and was part of the light...

and in the light i began to feel the presence of so many loved ones who have passed on...the elf king (karen), the bear (my brother), tigger (jack), sunshine (janet)...others...my cousin travis, wanda, erica quin, jojo, fender...so many...so many were sending me so much light...just out of reach...at the top of the tree...smiling down...too much for me to take if they came closer...so much love...you cant imagine the greatness of that love...it was like the best moment of joy you have ever experienced as a human...then take it and add more to it...without words or touch or sight i felt their love...the flow of love...i stood in it...their love...and then the joy came...the new sight came...i saw the tree itself differently...she had found something in me as well...hope...that others would look at her and her world of trees and find healing...

the carvings became prayers then...a hope...lines of hope...and above her wound was the words i love...

and it had been unseen before her great limb fell away...i love...someone had climbed her and carved it in the heart of her...

love

4EVER

and there it was...she held her lover as they are one...i hold my loved ones...they are part of me...and all around me there is the beauty of her gift...

she stands strong...

she loves...

and she heals...

and she wasnt wounded at all...she had opened her own heart to re-new and begin offering her healing again...

the weeping beech

this tree found its way into my heart about 4 years ago now...there is a lovely park by the bay here...she has a wonderful view...

i have gone to her when i have needed to just lean against something strong and feel that strength flow through me...sometimes i just go to her and talk to her about my day...or to simply give her a hug...my arms unable to reach even halfway around her large trunk...and trunk reminds me...she has the look of elephant skin to her limbs...amazing to see this up close...

this spring i came to see her and instantly saw a change in her looks...

...she had lost a huge limb and revealed a weak spot...she was more frail than she had appeared and now each time i see her she seems even more vulnerable...but she is still beautiful...the cascading dance of branches...she still listens...i still hug her and feel her spirit hug me back...she is still herself...and there is the lesson for humans to remember...our physical form may change...by age or by a trauma to it...yet we still are the same spirit we always were...we are still the same being born with a big spirit ready to go into the world and explore...just as this tree is fully who she was as a tiny seedling...we are exactly ourselves...infact if we cleared away the deadwood from us we would perhaps be able to experience our lives renewed...

for a moment think of your innerworld as a tree that needs to shake away all the old, tired leaves and remove branches that arent thriving...stand with your arms outstretched ,close your eyes and imagine you are a tree and you ask the wind to blow through you...clearing away all the useless decay, the things in your life that no longer serve you, the pain you still hold onto, the disappointments and hurt...the wind comes...it is shaking loose all which weighs you down...shake your arms/branches...perhaps your head...your shoulders...even pick up your legs and shake them...you are the tree and the wind is your helper...you are freeing yourself from what no longer is healthy for you...removing the deadwood...the debri is blowing away...tumbling behind you...going going gone...the sun shines brightly...you may be missing a big part of who you were...a relationship or a carreer that was long falling into decay and rot...you may have shaken free of bad feelings towards others...you are perhaps feeling vulnerable...stay with it...let yourself feel...let yourself shake free of all those old tired habits and patterns...see them break off and blow away...

and then come back to your human body when you are ready...feel the lightness as you come back...feel yourself free of debri...free of hate and resentment...free of hurt...and even if you didnt call enough wind up this time...even if you could not risk more...you will...and next time you will be even braver and more open to the change...  

raindrops on my heart

do you collect something from nature?...i collect stone hearts...

anne frank, einstein, jesus and me...

i love it when i dream of those passed on...especially people i wish i had known when they were alive...wanting to glean from them their wisdom and understanding...so last night i was most fortunate to dream of anne frank, jesus and einstein...

we were all sitting at a sidewalk cafe in galway, ireland...coffee and pastries for the adults and for anne a big glass of chocolate milk and a generous piece of chocolate cake..

galway has cobbled streets blocked off from cars...both sides of the streets are lined with shops, pubs and eateries...street performers earn their coins with song, dance and odd performances only their mother would applaud...songs lap over each other as you walk along...songs come out of the pubs as the patrons sing for the love of singing...galway smells of low tide at times and then of baked bread, fried fish and cigarette smoke...writers, poets and outsider artists come here to find the charge to create...it is a rough around the edges yet romantic bit of a place...it makes sense the four of us would sit down there to chat...

they enjoyed getting to know each other too...i loved watching each of them...their hand gestures, their laughter, their simple enjoyment of being...anne was happy to talk about her writing and how it kept her in the present...even when she was writing about something which had made her afraid...the act of writing removed her from that hiding place from the nazis and transported her to her inner world...she had hope she said...not to live on or escape but to be happy with what she did have and to not let her foolish mind override her and feed her fears...

then anne turned to jesus and asked him if he had fears when he was going through his life...

he said once when a bird swooped down on him as he got to close to a nest...we all laughed as he ducked and pretended to shield himself from an upset mother bird...he smiled and his voice went soft...saying yes he had been afraid other times...fear is always present but so is courage he said... to be overtaken by fear is to walk into a darkness you may not return from...choose to be brave and you walk into the light and will always see your path...

einstein chimed in then...fear is the destroyer of our world...courage is the nurturing force of the world...

we sat in silence after that heavy moment...then anne looked at me...she patted my hand and told me I needed to say something or ask a question...

so here this silly human was sitting with three of the greatest beings ever given to the earth and yet all my questions had been answered...i knew how to be the best me I could be which is what I always want to know how to do...sitting with them I understood how...to be peaceful, to be brave, to be kind, to be noble...to let my best come forward...they did it with ease...they showed me in their actions around the table...they were comfortable being themselves...they were each fully human in their fears and doubts and yet fully connected to the greater mystery of that which is beyond themselves...they were all open-hearted...generous, respectful, curious and full of good humor...all their best intentions flowed with joy...their own imperfections examined with compassion and their compassion ever expanding...each serving the world with their gifts...each hopeful for us to overcome our selfish and childish ways...

they simply were themselves...in being this they found happiness and transcended suffering and helped others rationally think and reason and understand that we each can walk in the light of our own good works rather than fall into the shadows of shallow thoughts and selfish pleasures...they didnt have to tell me this...they all had lived it...

what could i say...what could i add...i said i am grateful to have such good teachers and thanked them for being with me through my life...

night came closer on to that street...stars pushed against the darkness of the galway sky...a slice of moon inched its way up over the row of buildings...a fiddler played in a pub nearby...we all sat and enjoyed what was around us until my dream faded our good night...

finding giants and aliens in the world around us...

art exercise

take your camera out on a date...to the park or the beach...instead of taking a picture of a stand of trees go up to a tree and take a picture of the bark or a single leaf...point the camera up and take a shot of the sun breaking through the leaves...or how about getting close to a bee and snapping a shot...they can look like a small person really...well a person with wings...or get down on your belly and snap ground level shots...a mushroom looks like a giant...a beetle looks like an alien...the world we see is so much more than what we see...the world we let ourselves see has so much to show us...let your camera teach you to see an extra-ordinary view of your planet...

howling moon over the ocean...

art excercise

ever get lost in a few lines until the page is full and you look up and an hour has gone by?...you are entering an altered state of consciousness then...there is no time inside your higher conscious self...time waits on the outside of your consciousness...not one second of your life has been cashed in...yet in that place you create art with your hand while your higher self perhaps takes you on a long headtrip complete with dolphins sliding on moonbeams and mermaids calling you to a distant sandbar...atleast this is where i was at in my headtrip...art is a transporter to the place beyond time...pick up a pencil or pen, grab a big sheet of paper, take a few relaxing breaths, start doodling lines and see where you go...

FREE ART SUPPLIES

just think of nature as one ginormous art supply store full of free stuff...just one shopping rule at Artmart...no living creatures or plants will be harmed in the removal of these free art supplies...happy shopping...

my name is tree...

after a life of treehugging and just loving the Natural World...after feeling like the name colleen (irish for girl) just doesnt fit me anymore...i am looking for a new name...and i am leaning towards the irish gaelic word for tree which is "crann"...pronounced krahn...or perhaps simply take the word tree as my name...i know to some it may be an odd thing to do...but think about this...you are not the person you were ten or twenty years ago...perhaps you are an empty nester or newly divorced...perhaps you have lost a loved one and your life as you knew it is drastically changed...in a positive direction maybe you have a new passion for music or the ocean or a vocation...or it may be for the simple reason of making a fresh start...

for myself i am on a richer, more creative path as a shamanic artist...i feel i am rooted in the strength and wisdom of this lifetime...i am nearing age fifty and no longer wish to continue down a path i have been on...i am restarting a stalled life...deepening my spiritual passion for the Natural World and for my brothers and sisters...

i am having a refreshing awakening...i am walking away from the every day world...it leaves me empty and life meaningless...i stand in Nature...as a tree stands...breathing...giving refuge...co-existing in peace...meditating in silence...living by the seasons...strong yet as vulnerable as any other living thing on this earth...

Balance

The balance of a squirrel on a thin branch,

Wind tugging away, squirrel victorious.

The balance of stacked rocks at the beach,

Waves rumbling over them,

Yet they remain a tower of contemplation.

The balance of calmness in my day.

Though fears and doubts come to me,

Yet I am the strong parent of myself.

Balance knows the center and stays there,

No judgment, no insistence, just devotion.

I devote myself to the balance

Nature already knows.

ART+HEART=HAPPINESS

introductions please...

             

whenever i start a new art journal i state my intention for what i want to explore or expand upon, a goal i set and/or a dream to flesh out...this is my virtual art journal so i will begin it in this way as well...

my hope is to create an online journal of images and words that communicates my passion for inner exploration--

so in this beginning let me flesh myself out for you...

the above painting i have posted is me...the inward-looking self portrait...layered, color-full, vulnerable yet strong...i am a shamanic artist...a person who uses her shamanic "tools" to explore her spirited world and to help others understand theirs....through drumming, journeying, art creation, creative exercises and simply being with you in Nature i offer my gifts of helping you open up to who you really are...

now having said that...i struggle with my human parts at times as well...so i am not a faker when i say "i know how you feel"...i get messy inside myself too...i am not one of those spiritual people who puts on the mask of perfection while behind the scenes my ego is creating a mess of my life...i will let you see me at my worst...stomping around in my own suffering like a silly, angry elf...and i do this from time to time...in words but rarely images...i reveal this to you as a shamanic artist so you know it is ok to be a witness to your own ego-driven tantrums and self-inflicted suffering...in seeing them you can heal them and break a pattern...so we shall see together...

more to know about me...i am a tree hugger...literally...i love trees...one of my first loves was a cherry tree...the woods and i are old, dear friends...but i am also a sun-worshipping ocean lover...my peace expands as wide and as deep as the ocean when i meet her at the shore...the time i spend at the beach is time i spend at home in my "happy place"...

there is more to know but for now simply know this...we are hitting an intense corrective moment in this world we navigate...a transition from one way to another is occurring...ancient influences are coming now to assist us in this transition...

from the cave drawings recently discovered in France and elsewhere to nearly lost nature-centered ways there are "tools" being handed to us again...tools used to repair a broken world...our collective consciousness is understanding before our ordinary world has even recognized the shifts in thinking...compassion is taking an important place in this newly evolving "phase" of the earth and her family...many of our actions which have harmed the earth are beginning to be corrected...man-made destructive behavior is being recognized and we are simply making a course correction in our own approach to co-existing on this planet with the natural world...change is sometimes difficult but we will come out of it a better world of beings...a more loving family...

i hope to help you navigate these changes and find help as well...with humor, love and compassion we can make this world a peaceful, kind and good place to reflect what it was meant to be for us all...home...

so friends...lets do a little work together and a lot of play and have happy days together...

much peace...colleen