self doubt...self punishment...self rejection...self destruction...harmful habits directed towards yourself...the negative affirmations in your head...why do you keep this up?...it takes so much energy...dont you feel drained?...why harm yourself?...what is the root of it?...what comes up in you?...do you sense undefined anger?..resentments?...or have you numbed out completely?...is a state of UNfeeling the only way you can function?...can you list all the ways others have wronged you?...and then do you cringe at the knowledge and memories of how you have wronged others? do you reject kind people when they come your way?...do you choose partners who will reinforce negative thoughts about yourself yet reject those who are good to you?
get inside yourself and have at it...this is the moment in your life calling out to you...none of it works any more...it all is broken...it is destroying any bit of happiness that gets through all this negative looping you are doing within...and the looping is speeding up now...coiling around you tighter and tighter...restricting you more...shutting you down...you are being devoured by your own self hate...your own white hot anger...where is the root to your suffering?...when did it start?...and what areas has it vined through?...all of you?...then it is time...it is time to pull your suffering out by the roots!...all of it...
who wants to live in all this misery and suffering...you make yourself ill so you can have an excuse to hide out and recover from suffering just enough to function...then more self punishment and more unhappiness...more sickness...then more removal from the world...then the cycle starts again...women especially do this because we are in a world culture that teaches us to self punish from an early age...but we have an inner wisdom and it is time women listen to it...and it is time men step up and stop exploding their self hate onto women and children...
it is time all of us get off our lazy ego arses and do the work...dont be a wimpy victim any more...it is tedious...it shames you...for too long i shamed myself...and i knew i was tedious...as i became more conscious i realized how much and how ugly my behavior was...and then the tedious behavior of others got to me...and i had to fix me or all i could see was the darkness in myself in others...now i see light and it is wonderful...because i see the light in me and others and it blows my mind!...so have at it!...see the light...and use it to heal...it is the inner wisdom you possess...
listen to "YOUR GUT"...you know exactly what you need to do and how to do it...you know what you fight doing...
love, forgiveness and conscious but objective and compassionate viewing of your suffering is called for...and it isnt easy...it takes an honest and committed person working on a deep and sometimes painful level...
it takes looking at your wrong actions and forgiving...it takes forgiving others...and then there is a deeper work if you carry a curse on yourself...if you self cursed your life...or if another has...this is the most profound work...and all if it is sacred...you are life affirming and re-creating your life to become a happy and content person...
it takes an openness and a willingness to have real changes in your life...it is about being brave and taking on your fears...looking at them like the entities they are and expelling them...it is about the deep fears now...
fear of death...fear of a new way...fear of exposure and vulnerability...fear of?...fear of love?...you feel overwhelmed? cornered? shaken? by the thought of embracing the better life awaiting you?...that is ego telling you not to be happy...if you are happy you are not feeding ego...ego wants you enslaved...always filled with doubt and jealousy and fears of endless configurations...
give it up..give in...get on with it...you are going to feel so much better after your quest...i did...no longer a servant to ego...enjoying the moment...living with constant change...attachment to outcome conquered...it rocks!...
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