Tuesday, February 21, 2012

stream of conscious writing....

i get close...down close...so close i see to the other side of everything...i see the good behind the bad...the beauty hidden within the sorrow...i see the redemption of a moment of surrender...i see the love hidden in plain sight...i see the veins of your hands and crave to hear your heartbeat...i heard it once and hold it in my mind...a beat that calls to me and yet there is no place to go greet it now...i get close and then far away...miles away from yesterday...years away from a day ago...i am far into the memory of you and yet you are so very close....the scent of your hair....the warmth of your neck...the curve of your arm as i find myself there...i get close and then pull apart my soul...long stretch of tears fall...and i get lost in the darkness that use to have stars...i see no stars in this rainy night...stars will not guide me to my nest of dreams...i am cold and closed off now...i am simply a soul now...caged in a body...i rest behind this cage of bones...light and softness...love and kindness...i get close to wanting more and then remember there is no wanting any more...there is no more...i am friends with the stillness, the trees, the hawks...i have my words and paints as company...i feast on hours and fill myself up...another day gone...night and sleep are my relief...though nights are the little deaths...i welcome the shutting out of the day...the soft hum of another day ending...the thud of reality...the dreamless curve of space and time...no nest...simply a place i rest my head...i go close and see and look away...there is no sky to fly into...no stars greet me...so i will not fly again... 

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