i have been going through a huge personal transition the last couple plus years...i fell into ways and habits that made me weak...patterns repeated since childhood...i became uncomfortable in my adult life wherever i was...it was like being in a house that was always falling apart...
and then it was like i was standing in a house on fire!...i had to leave...to search for a new dwelling place within myself...new rooms of myself to live in...to close doors on old ways...to open the windows of the new rooms...to rest and regather myself...as different seasons and experiences have come and gone the past few years i have stepped into different rooms...the room of karen and cancer with her...the room of my own health issues now recovered from...the room of my mother and her suffering...the room of my relationship with my partner and the letting go and accepting the end with love intact and peace remaining...a room of deb and new jersey and seeing where i fit in others lives and where i do not..other rooms in the house...a room discovering i own my own body and i can choose who to share it with and to what level...a room with money issues...a room of my spiritual practices and the compassionate path i walk...
and so i took this simple trip to maine...such a blink of time really...but it did something to this house i was dwelling in...it was blown away as hurricane irene approached...
so one house burned down and another blew away...but it leads me to a walk down a new path and in my journey just now i have a more permanent and peaceful place to live and only one room...i dwell in a temple now...a temple of loving compassion...surrounded by light and nature...the ocean before me and the lush green forest behind my temple...a garden to feed everyone and many flowers blooming...many trees to hug...lush moss to walk barefoot on and cool pools of water for meditation...large pots on the stove...a long table outside for feasts...a large lilac bush to sleep beneath...in the temple it is a simple place...a ring of stones in the center for a fire...the ceiling open to the sun and stars and moon sisters parading...a temple of art and drumming and music and togetherness...a room filled with compassion, calm, humor, gentleness, honesty, integrity...a room with the connection of the flow of Love...for all who come to this room it is a place of healing...of redemption...renewal...rebirth...but especially compassion and Love...greeting everyone with an open heart...
i can never feel homeless or without a family again...the world is my family and i am my home...
i am excited to see what this temple will manifest...i look forward to it...i am already feeling the temple as a sanctuary of goodness and happiness...
i am so incredibly blessed today...it is such a joy to be where i am within myself...to be so near to begin my real work and walk the fully engaged path of a shaman...i feel as if i have been in training and study for so long and yet know i will always expand and learn more...i feel close to all of it now...
as i stand in the Temple of Love built by the compassionate path of service to others i have a home...it is so good to finally be home...
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