the cave walls i go into when i journey are remarkable...inspiring me to create on canvas...the colors are delicious to my eyes...the images rising up from the dance of fire...the figures and racing forms leap to the walls quickly...i feel as if i only see bits and pieces of a greater thing at play...yet i dont need to see the full picture to understand what is roaring through me as well tonight...rising up in me like flames slapping the walls of my heart...i am the storyteller in my cave of bones...i am the flesh devoured by flames tonight...the pacing poet of my own wild dance in this cave of creation i reside in now...at home within myself...away from all the twisted creatures and deformed minds who are snatching at this world right now...all of it going mad...nothing making much sense...
i am in here...in me...in the black hole in me...in the earth...in the universe...a circle within a circle within a circle...where even matter doesnt matter...outside of time and expanding far and back and nowhere all at once...
the snow falls over the dark landscape in ordinary reality...i walked out in it earlier this evening...a man was walking up the middle of the snow covered street carrying his shoes...these are the things you see now i said to myself...this is the new normal...like the man peeing on a stop sign the other day...all the crazy things happening in the world...these are the new normals...
and so i journey into my cave tonight and looked and asked and was open for guidance...and it came to me...in a simple sentence from my shaman guide..."cancer does not know it is cancer"...and so there it is...wisdom short and not sweet...
it is sad...to see the potential of this world...to see the potential of human beings...and then to see where it is going horribly wrong...and there is a course it will run and an ending and then a beginning...all i can do is my part...and know what i do...perhaps this cancer has just become conscious it is cancer...if you know you are cancer then what?...ah there is another journey and a new question...but do i want to know any more on such a night when the cave is so lovely and the walls of the cave dance with better art than i could ever paint...
i will leave the sad world and the cancer thoughts and the man walking barefoot in a snowstorm carrying his shoes and the sirens and the horrible new normals...i will leave them outside in the cold and warm myself in my cave...watching the walls and perhaps calling in storytellers to sit with me and tell stories in my dreams...
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