still still morning

i love this swan...it lives alone now on a pond of ducks and the occasional visiting canadian geese...it came as my guide this morning in a journey...it is my solitude guide...to help me navigate my solitude...what a perfect and peaceful guide to stay with me...i feel blessed to have her always with me...

 

 

 

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in this still still morning...as the sun shines wildly in a cloudless sky...as the cold hugs the land...and ice shimmers on the surface of calm waters...in the strong company of the trees...i let in all of nature's healing presence...

 

i have meditated with clear light flowing through me this morning...i have prayed with loving intent...i have journeyed for guidance...i am experiencing this beginning of winter season with my new heart growing in the place where an old one gave out under the crush of disappointment and sorrow...

 

this new heart being formed is full of simple yet great love...it isnt cradled in a nest of hurt and rejection...it is held in divine light...it is created with such loving kindness from all the good which ever was, which is and ever will be...it is created by the grace of the unseen...

 

what a year...what a year of breaking and breaking and breaking until i sat under a tree today and cried it all out of me...all the homophobia and unkindness of the year...all the rejection and hurt...all the ways i set myself up for suffering...all the ways others attempted to transfer their dysfunctions onto me...

 

i was tested so intensely in so many different ways this year...to the brink of giving up on life itself...yet the spark of my own spirit would not stop shining through...the grace of which kept me going and finally filled me with hope once more...not a hope in something wonderful to happen...not even to be protected from suffering...but i have a hope which is simple and pure...a hope born of love...self love and love from the great unseen...with all my flaws and missteps i am still loved from the place of spirit...just as i am...i am enough as i am...

 

what a simple but perfect thing to know...even as my body fails and i am in an odd place of no clear direction in life...even as the winter begins in uncertainty...i still can smile and be happy today...

 

in this delicate weave of hours...in this beautiful landscape of me...with all my imperfections i feel loved...and this is enough...it is the one thing i trust in life...

 

this love has taught me of late how to see with my new eyes as well...i now see actions as truth and not the false words i trusted before...it is the wisdom which comes after great spiritual harm...i am grateful for this outcome...

 

i trust the great unseen which flows through everything including me and you...i trust it to guide me to do right...i trust it to hold me away from darkness...i trust it to be there at my end to bring me to my spirit home...i trust this beautiful purity to keep me in this simple hum of time as my new heart grows and strengthens...flowering with love as i meditate for more and more peace for the world...as i love myself through challenges...as i let love in...expanding and never living with a closed heart...

 

i hope this for everyone...to have peace in your mind and love in your heart...in your new heart...and to see with new eyes...past the miserable suffering left by those twisting away from spirit...i hope for you to see with eyes filled with the beauty of nature and the light of others who shine their love upon you in sacredness and respect...

 

in this season of peace many of us felt a deep wounding by the sufferings of others in places like conn., syria or in our own private losses...i hope we all keep peace in our hearts and stay hopeful...if we all keep to the bright path of love the darkness has so little space to grow...those in darkness will be pulled to the light they so desperately hunger for yet reject from their own loss of faith...i will have faith for them and i hope for you...let us amplify love so all may feel it...even when we struggle to feel it ourselves...keep reaching...keep holding on...keep being love...keep lighting the world...