tonight's journey...

tonight's journey is very beautiful and full of grace...

i settled myself in to my big comfy recliner i call affectionately "big blue"...i used my drum and softly struck it for what felt like a long time...journeying to a familiar place...a lake i love...finding myself floating on a raft...the stars so heavy in the sky it seemed they sunk lower and hovered only feet above me...i felt as if i would dissolve into them at any moment...yet the raft drifted to shore and i disembarked...up a path...into a large tent...

the tent was simple...a dirt floor and mats to sit on...my guides came...they sat with me and prepared me to meet loved ones i have not seen in lifetimes...a lineage of my children they told me...i knew this was the journey...i asked for it...i opened myself up to it...ready to finally face this part of me...all the children in all the lifetimes i have carried in my heart...little hands and grown hands reaching out to me in dreams and thoughts over the years...yet tonight i was ready to experience it all fully...

so many people dont believe in past lives...i cant even call them past lives...for in the place of spirit there is no time...only lessons and experiences...only love...and in this place of spirit our many lives rest and are there to be our present teachers...i opened myself up to these great teachers of love this evening...

tonight my children came up the path...tonight my healing enters into me...to those who dont believe in past lives it is ok...it does feel crazy at times to even have these moments...yet they are so personal and so real...they resonate from my soul...and if you can believe in angels and demons...if you can believe in god and eternal life...well perhaps you can allow for the thought of other lifetimes and more expanded lifetimes of lessons and experiences before all is done and we are truly home in that forever bliss...

so to continue...i was in the tent and the guides were supporting me in this moment of great joy and great heartache...they came...young and old...male and female...asian, african and others...and the love flooded me...smiles and touching...hugs and long sobs...each face precious...each voice the song of my heart...ten children from one family...all with the most beautiful eyes looking to me...i see the eyes of their mother when i look in their eyes...other children quiet and happy...some filled with sorrow at the loss and yet lifted by this reunion...a young girl giving me flowers...an old woman who was my daughter takes my hand and holds it as if she is three again...her lovely blue grey eyes healing my suffering...

it was a feast of love...a great homecoming...a wondrous moment of feeling fully loved by the children of my soul...i have so missed all of them...to put my arms around them and give all my love to them was so peaceful...

i didnt leave there for a very long time...at some point i was no longer drumming...i was no longer sitting in a chair...i was among the angels of my heart...i was home...home in a place so beautiful...this is my heaven...this is my peace at last...

i am completely  saturated by them now...not alone any more...they are with me...in my soul...awake and happy..and filling me with happiness...my feelings make sense now...my hunger to have family is fed...

i had conversations with some...others i sang songs with...some wanted to simply sit and be held...

i feel as if i have lifted a great weight off my heart now...i understand so much about myself...more came and more understanding is rising up in me...i am so very blessed...so full of love...