so last night at the birthday celebration i was talking to a guy...i said if i made a toast it would be about quiting...to be a quitter...he said this is too negative...i smiled and i said i have quit nagging myself...quit putting myself down...quit taking only crumbs...quit settling...i told him there is alot of things i have quit lately...i quit taking "it"...quit feeling unworthy...quit putting off happiness...he smiled and got it...
so what are you going to quit?...something big i hope...i hope you blow it up!...quit a job you hate....no excuse...plan an exit strategy if you must but quit it...quit a relationship...quit a behavior...quit a habit...quit getting up so early to do a day you hate...quit...it isnt giving up...it isnt denial...it is liberation...it is revolution!
i quit alot lately...i am still working on quiting more...not sure what i will embrace yet...but the quiting part is liberating...
the big one and it is huge...quit caring what others think of me...it is one that has left many splinters in me...so i am extracting them...but i am doing a great job at it...this week challenged it...folks disappointed me and yet i had to look at it and not let it become a judgement against me...and i imagined judgements from others which is crazy making...and last night i got tangible proof i am likable...lol...others showed me in so many ways how much they like me last night...
honestly it was amazing to get so much genuine love from others...i didnt have to do anything but show up for it...i felt so deeply moved by it...it helped transform some hurt and heartache folks didnt even know i was carrying...and those who didnt come simply didnt come...they had their reasons and celebrating with me just didnt feed their spirit...i wanted them to be where they needed to be...they were...
to see others gathered and laughing and enjoying the freedom of a room of loving kindness was beautiful...all ages...all walks of life...buddhist and christian and pagan...republican and democrat...from a wee one who danced the night away to the oldest ones in the room whos laughter was as happy as wind chimes tickled by the breeze...the song "harvest moon" sung by a brother and sister poured over us all like honey...others braving the mike and others singing in the crowd...good cake!...a feast of food...folks sharing their best selves with each other...
i took it in..trusting everyone in the room to be kind to me...pouring my love over them...it was breathtaking...everyone who was there shined...each one standing in the perfection of their beautiful presence...i marvelled at it...this was the best birthday i could have hoped for...it taught me so much about who shows up in your life and why...last night lovers showed up...and i so needed their love...it taught me to trust and open and surrender...how majickal...i am blessed...
more splinters removed and a soothing balm of community and friendship placed on the hurting places last night...
so quit...be a quitter...there is more i am quiting in the next few days...i have a checklist...a quitters list...kinda like a bucket list but one of giving up things rather than achieving some task...
and quiting can be hard...some things you quit have to be done in parts...but it is good to quit...
oh quit worrying...that is a big one...one you might have to work at...quit saying negative things...that is a good one...
so my sage advice...quit...quit it right this minute! it is a life changer!...and better to do it and not put it off...do it now...change your life before you are too old and the only change you see is someone changing your diapers!...seriously...do it...i am...it feels awesome!
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