i have had a migraine since last night...crying and in pain all day...it wont peak...i decided to reach for the moon to heal me...i journeyed and let her guide me...in my journey i carved a bowl from a sapphire stone and waited for the full moon to arrive...
i slowly sip the cool light in and find relief at last...i am in the cave of my knowing...i build a fire...i throw bones...the reading says to make a new path for myself...shed the old...i drum and ask for healing...a hand reaches from the fire and into my chest...all the dark roots are pulled out...more and more and more...burning out of me...i feel the ugly vines...the poison...the filth of all the curses and hate planted in me...i feel the sting of uprooted places in me...nerve endings on fire...my throat filled with twisted thorny vines...no wonder i couldnt tell people what i wanted to...no wonder i couldnt scream...more vines...more roots...bits of the cancerous self loathing...the sapphire bowl is there...i sip more...healing with fire...healing with moonlight...the fire hisses...i open my eyes to the new way...like lazarus i rise from the deadness of myself...
i am outside the cave...in moonlight...i see all those who asked so much of me...who judge me...who disrespect me...the ones who taught me self hate...i saw all these shining coins of light they held in their hands...it was parts of my soul...i took them back and swallowed them...they melted into places the roots and vines had been...i looked at each person...saw their vines and roots...i asked them if they wished to go to the cave for healing...some did and some didnt...i hope for all of them to have their wounds healed...
i left from the journey feeling the healing still expanding...i feel very sleepy but my head is better than it was...i think about all those people out their in the world...some i know and some i dont...all the suffering and fear...the uncertain times we live in...the cruelness of some...the compassion and goodness of others...i hope for all tonight...that love enters and in the light of love the darkness goes...
No comments:
Post a Comment