a new day, a better understanding of life

i had a super big thought this morning...and it didnt strain my brain:)...this is it...

i have had many people in my life pass away over the years...i have been with some as they passed...friends and family and even strangers i stayed with as they took their last breaths...some went peacefully and others didnt...death made an appearance early in my life...and i had this self truth and life experience weave into my understanding of what i thought was an unrelated thought this morning...

i have felt like an incredible failure at times...in relationships...my career...in other ways...most recently because i couldnt get people to take my classes or have me teach in their spaces...i picked apart the whys...and it just made me more disheartened...until...

until i realized...i take risks...i leap in...i say yes...a good quality to me...

and in doing this many times i dont succeed as often as i "fail"...but i do gain experience...i have an adventure...i become braver...i see clearer what i do want and how to achieve it...the world is my lab...

and the second thing i realized in knowing how often i try something not as self sabotage but to simply see if it will work is i know life is very short...in fact it is not even a day long for many in the world each day....and i have seen this first hand...so i do leap into things at times...i will put off work a few hours or a day to go do something with someone because time with others is my wealth...i open my heart and love because this is great success on a spiritual level...

i risk...i venture into things with the thought i need to be here right now...at times i ask myself what the heck am i doing...this is not going to end well i say...yet somehow i know i am meant to be there in that relationship or in a business situation or job...i am meant to know someone or experience something...so i trust it...and oh wow i trust me!

i realized this morning i have not failed at one thing...not at love or work or life...i have simply said yes to life...knowing sometimes it will not be easy or understandable at times but i know to do it...to take leaps of faith...often...and now with a greater awareness of what true success is to me...

i like knowing this...makes living my life much easier to understand...