to get to this expansiveness i went deep into myself...until only i...the eternal...was present...then i went up...beyond the clouds...beyond the stars...beyond the dark...beyond...
i felt it then...the pure love...endless and constant...the flow...i sensed i could ask questions and so i did...and the answers came with such peace and ease...they were mundane questions of what i should be doing and am i on the right path...am i doing ok...and i felt the love simply hold me as it gave me clear loving guidance...my human self feeling comforted and reassured...nurtured...i asked more questions...ones about love and my feelings for others...my ever present drive to keep my heart open and spiritually in alignment with love...the struggles i have with expressing love or being loving...
the one who was answering my questions shined through me...and i felt so...well...part of something indescribably beautiful...what is this i asked...who is this?
lights came...these amazing waves of light i can only describe as joy charged reactions to the happiness i was feeling along with the love....as if i was making this place happy...
some might say the lights are angels but i think of them as light beings...a countless swirling glorious dance of them...moving in waves and whirl pooling to me...and then i sensed what i was in...what i am always in...what i never leave but cant sense fully as a human because i block it with ego and nonconstructive attachments...
i am in the consciousness of god...it is where i always am...in a great flow of love and peace...and in asking i made this consciousness content...as if i brought this human love to this divine love...and simply by my presence of acceptance and appreciation of this beautiful experience i created happiness there...
i thought this is where we all are...this IS the oneness...this immense feeling of endless space within me is actually who i am...i am dwelling always with the consciousness of the beloved...as a visual it is breathtaking...the vastness...and the feeling of love is overwhelmingly inspiring...
there is so much we dont experience as humans...we cant...we have to live this artificial life of body and experience teachings about how to love as a singular form to reflect back into the oneness we are...
ego wants you to think you are god...but ego is all about power and control and keeping you small and struggling...in the oneness i understood this...
i am not god...i am the oneness of everything god is...which to me is different...i dwell in oneness with god...in a consciousness so simple yet so infinite...
my human life is karma...my soul is taking in lessons...i am sending love or suffering out...the suffering can be transformed...the love added...
(wow this is all hard to explain and totally out there...lol)
it is so much better to create happiness and contentment in the consciousness of god than to bring unhappiness to be transformed...i knew this...instantly...feeling it...i felt suffering come from this physical world and sensed the light beings transforming it...
this was so much to experience...still letting it unfold in my human heart and mind...my soul...
but i feel at peace tonight after this head trip...
i feel like i am even more sure than ever god is love...and i am with god and i am love...even as my human activities sometimes dilutes the love as it comes up in me...i am still always in the consciousness of the beloved...not really here at all...just in a body doing human things...
and it is ok to be this human doing this life...humans arent so bad...actually it is very remarkable to have a physical body...to have limits and challenges and obstacles...to overcome...to transcend is a good thing for a human to achieve...to not be afraid and to simply forget about measuring time or being in such a hurry to gobble life up...being more human is to be more loving i took away from this as well...
so i am going to be more human from now on...
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