paradise lost...

sleep wont come...but the sun soon will rise...and i will fly...too close...like icarus...feathers and wax failing me...falling fast...the ocean swallowing me up...but unlike icarus i am part selkie...i will swim to the island and go ashore...tasting the ocean on my lips one last time...breathing in the air...nostrils taking in the scent of this place...

what does it smell like?

all my lost hopes and dreams...

and there it is...every unasked question...every broken bottle with a faded message inside...glass biting me as i shed my skin...

i climb up the cliff...

the view...

once i saw the world from so high up...now i just see the ocean...seal skin drifting out with the tide...

here i stand...self exiled...

yet there is the memory...of smiles and youth and future ripening slowly on a summer vine...young feet running fast...so young...

i didnt even know my true loves name...but there she stood with her eyes not looking at me...

the years piled up and the heart kept on...til her wings wrapped around me...and the salty scent and the land of green and the faith and the love all came to set me free...i had a glimpse of what life could be...when she turned to me and answered my prayer...then took the answer back when i failed to fly...

but there is no anger...there is no blame...i came with my broken wings to this creature of the sky...i came undone in a slow unraveling of time...i came and went like a ghost...

but with one last bit of strength i melted down the bees wax and gathered up the feathers...i tried...oh how hard i tried to make sturdy wings...i tried to keep up...i tried to fly...but there was too much to overcome...there was the sun...

i look at my young self and smile and wave goodbye...i look out over the ocean and let go of the sky...i watch the wings of a goddess spread wide...golden...shimmering as the sun blazes across those perfect wings...goodbye hopes...goodbye dreams...

i came close...i almost found paradise...