morning chuckle

i laughed out loud this morning as i read an article online...i am into quantum/physics as an armchair onlooker of all these discoveries and near discoveries and oops we were off by this much take backs of discoveries...

this morning the article was on the search of the "illusive god particle" or the Higgs bosin...

ok so i am not going to get technical on myself or you but it is a yet found puzzle piece that is the(maybe) AH-HA moment for those intrepid hunters of "bossie" as i call the god particle...

see this ginormous collider underground crashes protons together going super dooper speed and when these protons fly into bits and pieces ever so small (and by small i mean you cant even imagine how small small can be in this universe of smallness in a proton)...so anyway they break up into particles and each particle has a role in creating mass which creates matter...the matter that makes up everything...so bossie is what gives the other masses their mass it is thought...hence the "god particle"...

and here is where the laughter comes...i imagine there is no mass creating mass...that bossie is nonexistent in any physical realm and this will blow the physicists minds...that every particle in all the universe is simply there being held into the structures and patterns of the physical world by....drum roll...nothingness...

that everything is interlocked and simply keeps it all together not flying apart into countless particles...that would be cool and trippy...and i would laugh even more...not out of making fun of the billions of dollars and endless hours and mind-time used to find nothing...but i laugh at the joy of it...to know that the unseen mystery remains unseen even if the mystery is solved...

peace

i seek peace in the season of peace and have found it...in the slow moments waking i pray and meditate and find the core of my being in repose...there is a cool underground spring pouring from the earth...and in this rich flow is the crystal clear essence of peace...i drink it into me and let it fill every cell of my body...i let it fill my mind and ebb from my body in all my words and actions as i time travel through this day....my heart is as light as a feather...my eyes shine forth happiness...my soul is free to send love and compassion to everyone...i am at peace...may all of us have this peace today... 

gentle thoughts

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." ~~Toulouse Lautrec from the movie Moulin Rouge

I just had gentle thoughts and sent them out to the world...to those i know and love very much...family and friends...and then expanded it out to everyone...i am blessed and counted them these last few moments...i am grateful and so full of love...i am rested and feel changed by the shift in my mind i have made...i am growing more and more peaceful...i am feeling loved by the unseen greatness...i feel loved by others...i feel liked even...accepted for who i am...there is a deep gratitude for being accepted...i feel more and more part of the world around me and less seperated...for so long i thought i was one of the broken toys on misfit island...but now i realize none of those toys were broken and i wasnt either...it is so cool to feel a sense of self worth...to know i am worthy and to offer up my good heart to others...

blessings on this lovely day...may we all walk in peace and love well...

shimmering light happiness

self other all

yesterday evening i went to my first kundalini yoga class...and i loved it times a thousand...the teaching was on "crystal clear focus" i believe was the exact wording...i found the physical challenges to be invigorating and some even took me to the place in myself i love going...

one exercise had us breathing in a certain way and then with outstretched arms fold them in at the elbow so hands would be over the heart...each arm at a time...and it was so cool! we did it so long and i did it so fast it felt like i had more than two arms...by the end of that exercise i felt like i had six arms...six amazing hands over my heart...when we stopped i felt the arms give me a hug before becoming two again...yeah trippy!...i know...

another exercise i was breathing and became lava flowing through the earth...i was in hawaii and i was traveling fast in the earth...like a fire snake...and then i leaped out of the ground and became red wine thin...then i became flames and red clouds and then darkness...i was high up and in the stars...there was a vast silence...

another exercise we were on our backs and it was a resting exercise...i shapeshifted quickly into this shaft of light i always feel within me...this light i saw in me as a child...as a child i knew when i was happy the "beam" of light was whole and bright but soft...when i was upset it would become fragmented and sharp and could hurt my body...so at this class last night the shaft of light became fluid and left my body...it had a snake movement to it as it left the top of my head...it reached beyond the ceiling...it was with another shaft of light that spiralled around it...this "other" was happy and pulsed with a slightly different vibration...it had a pale...a very pale hint of blue to it...i noticed mine had a very pale red to it...as we danced together and climbed higher we left a trail of pale lavender behind...was ever so slight in this beautiful light trail but it was there...

and then i shifted into an orb of soft light and was at the lake in maine...i wasnt sure if the other light had become a part of my own light or not but i had no human need to know anything or control anything...i just felt immense love...and as the orb i was more me than i could be as a human i felt...i was me and other and all...this is how i can describe it...all at once...i felt the greatness of the unseen who created all and other and me...i felt every color on the planet...every thought...every suffering and every joy...i felt every breath and every heart beat..i felt the pulse of stars and the coldness of the deepest reaches of the ocean...i felt the searing center of the earth and the gentle movement of butterfly wings in warm sun...i felt speed and yet no time...

as the orb i felt big and yet i was not large in a physical way...maybe the size of a volleyball or smaller...i was soft and yet dense...a pure light now...no color...i hovered over the lake i love in maine...and then i quickly dropped in...the water exploded around me...flying up into the air as billions of droplets charged with the light and the words "i love you"...

as each droplet fell to the earth it released the light, the water and the feeling of "i love you" which entered everything...plants, animals, the earth, people...and this was so thrilling and made me so happy i wanted to do it again...so i...though "i" didnt fit at that point...the word i...it was more like a plural i...if you can imagine a plural i...not we...yet not singular...anyway i flew to the ocean...a warm ocean of emerald waters...

i slammed into the ocean sending the empowered droplets again...and they rained down on everything...full of i love you's...and it just made me happier...so i went around the world doing this in different places...i love you in shimmering droplets falling to the earth...

i suddenly felt a pull and ended up in my parents bedroom...they are both confined to hospital beds now...i felt the orb was meant to do healing work and had permission from the flow of healing it was tapped into...

i went from my mom's feet all the way up and out her hands...filling her with healing and love...i noticed the pain in her body, the drugs she was taking, the sadness in her and the fear and loneliness...i felt it and wanted her to feel the love of her creator and to feel safe and to find relief...

i went to my dad...i worked from his feet up...i felt him having pain in his lower back...i felt his shoulder ache...i felt him in a fog from medicine he was taking...i felt a part of him very at peace and grateful and yet a part of him that felt sadness and that he missed being outside...i saw him wanting to touch leaves and yet he couldnt...it made me send him a dream of walking and laughing and playing with his grandchildren in the leaves...i let him know he could go into dreams and play and be whatever age he wished and he could even be young again and run the streets of his hometown or play basketball like he did in high school...i let him know he didnt have to come from the dreams sad...he could go back and dream and be happy...someday he would have a new body...he could feel the pureness of love now and always...that his creator loves him and he is not alone...

i went to the rest of my family and simply offered them healing for whatever they needed healing of...then others i went to...a person very dear to me who is struggling...i offered her healing to use...and her higher self knows it is there...i offered it to others who accepted it...i gave it to my human body still on the mat in the room below me...she was there and at peace...hands to the side...feet pointing out...a blanket over her middle...she was smiling...a tear rolls down the side of her face...she looked so beautiful...i felt very blessed to have that body and to know the human who is colleen...i felt a tenderness towards her...a sense of pride i suppose...at her goodness...her bravery...her tender heart...knowing she struggles and longs to be better and better but she must understand she is exactly how she needs to be and that is perfect within the imperfections...she is so loved...and i sent that love to her...and she accepted it...and then to the dear soul who brought her there i offered light and healing...her soul was shining so brightly it was hard to see her human form at that moment...then to others in the room...a woman behind me who's body was in pain...a friend down the street who was tired...i felt the i love you's still raining down...

i was called back into the body...i was rested and happy...i wiped the tears away and continued on through the class...feeling very at peace...i felt my body lighter and i felt the room full of calm and i felt so very humble and well...just stripped down into the simplicity of breathing and being...

~~~*~~~

so...a new day...it rains...the droplets tap the window...and with each drop i hear "i love you"...i hope if it is raining where you are you hear each drop say i love you...and i hope you feel loved...and then in that love be more loving...

i love you

JAH

flowers planted

darkness began to creep in just now...so i planted flowers...shimmering flowers of happiness...flowers leaped up from the acres of my soul...crowding the darkness out...giving myself a strong push towards loving kindness and gentleness with myself...denying the no's of self punishment...i am loved...and i am smiling...i am safe and all is as it should be...and i am amazing as i navigate these new days of my life...i so very much appreciate the person i am and the kindness my own soul offers up to me...i am very blessed to be me...and when the darkness comes i know that even more so...

lovely shimmering day to all...