when i was a little girl i would walk around in my bibbed overhauls...my hands buried deep in the pockets...my uncle would always ask me "girl whatcha got in your pockets?"...i would always say "i got songs in my pockets" and i would pull out a notebook of my words...i remember writing lines about a grasshopper named george and a love song to a tree...i remember those little dime store notebooks with the cheap spiraling wire that would catch on my fabric and make my sweaty hands smell metallic...as i got older i was less likely to share my words and my songs...now i rarely sing...sometimes a few lines or i will hum...when i am alone i sing my prayers sometimes...but music is the thing that gets me through the days so often...i love to not only listen to it but watch others play music...their hands on strings conjuring sounds...their mouths opening to release such a dazzling dance of words...notes filling my heart...my eyes often filling with tears as the person reaches out their soul in the lines of a song and touches my soul...this song reached in...i know this song...i live it...
tonight is not easy...but music sees me through...i drummed earlier with others and that music helped...it will all be as it needs to be...it is just hard to get through this last bit...i love myself through it...and let songs lift me up as well...
tomorrow is the 21st day of self work...i will conquer this newest pattern i have noticed that really is the same old same old...tonight though i have to force myself to lay down and sleep...i need to let my mind rest...blessings of peace and calm to us all...
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