i did a journey using the scent of jasmine as a tool rather than a drumbeat or rattle...using a scent is not new to me but i havent done this in a long time...
the scent took me to a dome of jasmine and i crawled inside and stretched out on soft grass...light filtered in and i felt held in this gentle loving womb of flowery energy...there was so much peace to be found i could simply breath and sigh the relief of it in and out of me...i was in absolute bliss...
from the jasmine flowered dome a voice came...serene and feminine...i remember that voice...it was my first partner Janet...she came and sat beside me...then held me...whispered french in my ears as she use to...she was the same...her eyes clear and full of laughter...she had once worn and brewed and grew jasmine...it was her favorite flower and she would often kiss blossoms like a happy butterfly...coming away with the faintest hint of jasmine on her lips...and now she held me and rocked me and spoke to me with such compassion...
she told me that it was ok...the way i am right now...to not be frightened...it would pass...the stress and difficult times would clear away and spring would bring loving blossoms and happy stars...she told me to be comforted and not feel so untethered...that i wasnt at all...that i was anchored in love from others and from the flow of love...she laughed...some just dont get you col...some do...it is not bad or good...you are this river that flows and some are all dammed up...just flow i remember her saying...keep flowing...
the flowers fell and covered us...she and i laughed...as the wind swept the flowers away janet disappeared...it was a very beautiful moment...not sad...she lingered like the jasmine scent...and the laughter lingered...i was so very happy...incredibly blessed to be with her again...i got a chance to tell her i love her and to hold her...how many people get that gift...i cant express the beauty of it...the falling away of the sadness of losing her and all the unspent dreams...this was lifted from my heart...
days before this i walked by jasmine for sell at trader joe's...i put my hand out and touched a flower and remembered her and felt that sadness...days after i was given this jasmine and now i was given this moment of healing...
i look at who i was when she and i met...i was full to the brim...lately i have felt hollow...but she showed me that who i am is who she still loves and who i am is worth loving...and i have this fullness again...i feel renewed...the rest of this will come...what to do next...it will all come...i am in the flow of love...it is flowing...
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