last night i dreamed i was driving and once again i had my common dream occurrence but with a different action...i dreamed i was pulling on to the highway and i lost my sight...actually my eyesight gets blurry and so i close my eyes and hope for the best...but this time when it happened i stopped the car on the highway and gave myself healing energy...letting go of the steering wheel and cupping my hands over my eyes...my sight returned and the frustration of not being able to see was gone...
i took this to mean that in my daily life if frustration or feeling overwhelmed occurs i need to stop and give myself healing...
~*~
lately my energy level has been sizzling...not in a kinetic cant sit still kind of way...it feels like my heart is vibrating fast...like the love i have for everyone is so big it will take me and blow me to pieces like a crystal can be blown to pieces with sound...i feel like love so immense passing thru this body is going to shatter it...not in a bad way...but i will just vibrate at a higher and higher frequency until i become white light...
i was telling someone this the other day...trying to explain it...as if i will vibrate at such a high frequency i will become white light...and wouldnt you know that very night i put my hand on a pot on the electric stove and the element exploded...it sent me back and i saw this white ball of light flash before me...a similar energy i was experiencing inside me blasted thru my body...i wasnt hurt seriously but it could have been the end for me easily...if i had grabbed hold of the pot handle or if i had used the glass pot perhaps...as it was for a good half hour after my whole body ached horribly and my head felt like it was going to get so tight it would explode...i kept my hands on either side of my head holding it and sending it cleansing healing...my ears ached all night and into the next day...yet the other part was i was not tired and could have stayed up all night...i felt like i had dodged death in a spiritual way...i had a vision when the explosion happened and am still inching towards understanding it...
i am in this long cycle of transition...i have faced some heavy inner issues and changed my outer world...i have let go of the comfort blanket of suicide....i have moved out and am living on my own for the first time in many years...i am reforming my art career...i am allowing others to get close to me...i am opening myself up...to love and not in a selfish way...i am finding so much peace lately...i do have my moments of feeling overwhelmed but that is fatigue and naps cure this...i simply am changing my energy and inner harmonious frequency to navigate my life in a new way...surrounding myself with more calmness and happiness...i feel such an immense flow of love to me and out of me and back to me...
i feel so incredibly blessed and so grateful for all i have...i take a shower and am grateful when i know others can not enjoy this...how rich i am in comforts...i eat a full meal and yet bellies are empty around the world...i drive a car and so many dont have one...i am warm when others shiver...and so every day i count my blessings and i find ways to help ease suffering...i am hopeful...i love everyone and send love...i take care of the natural world we were blessed to be given with the easy things we all can do and know to do...i walk as kindly as i can and show loving kindness...right now...typing this i feel so much love for all and am so very hopeful we all will lift up and be our best selves...
even as there are those who do harm in the world there are a thousand times a thousand kind acts and goodness being done at the same moment...be happy in knowing this and be kind and gentle with yourself and others today...
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