seeker of the green

i am sloshing around in my thoughts this morning...eager to go into nature again...eager to remove distractions and worries...soon i will go into the woods of maine and sit...walking deeper into my soul...further away from the tediousness of the man made world...to the pure place...to the temple of spirit...that sacred collective field of knowing... happily i will open up to the cool spring of renewal...filling myself with the healing energy to draw from when i return to the world of childish behaviors and ego-dysfunctional actions of others...
remember nature has no judgment in her actions...no ego...mother earth simply lives in the now as the past lives on and within her...it is a perfect place to go for renewal... i step into nature and feel free...if it is a beach i stand on, i feel the womb of the world before me...if into a forest, i feel embraced and accepted as a creature born from that original womb...nothing more or less...i am an equal to the deer and the bear...
there among the trees and birdsong i feel love...a better love than the confused love humans (myself included) offers up to one another...love gets tampered with here in this world of tarred roads and cluttered dwellings....love gets lost in the distractions of selfish desires...in nature those distractions fall away... when i walk in the woods i am conscious of my heartbeat, my footfall, what animals are around me, the scents that come and go, the heat or cold that presses against my skin...i slowly let go of the tension in my body and become who i remember myself to be...and in this moment i know who i am and hear my own thoughts...
but i dont walk into nature enough these days...i get lost in this mirage of reality...not understanding so much in this world today...not understanding the twisted expressions of love, the vulgar pursuits of happiness, the enjoyment of ignorance...i look around me and feel foreign...i feel polluted...i feel myself slipping into the ways of this world...and so into nature i am going soon...to maine...an amazing wildness to the land there... i am starving to walk into the green...to know my authentic self and to experience love in its most compassionate, kindest expressions...the love which comes from within...and then to feel my mind clear in the way nature sweeps away the clouds of worldly concerns...to wake up...to know...to fill myself up and go back into the world with a well of strength and clarity...renewed in the way only nature has the power to renew...