i have done a series of "re-focusing" journeys...and as i was doing them a friend offered an interesting idea...what if i did exactly what my guides told me to do for a year...and blogged about it...yikes i thought...i have been fighting with them lately...not wanting to do what i know is for my greater good and healing...
why do we fight what we know is best for us?...really...it is silly to cling to unhealthy patterns and behaviors and even people?...but it all feels safer...our adult "blankies" we carry around on the inside of us...if i do this thing i know this result will happen so i will do this thing until i am exhausted by it...but the dysfunctional thing is a known...it many cause me to suffer but it is what i know and can in an odd way control...
but to step away from the same old reactions and to break karmic patterns...wow how scary huh?...i laugh at myself and shake my head...
the guides tell me to do more public drumming...i cant drum in a park full of people...they might think i am weird or creepy even...the guides tell me to paint more images from spirit...i cant my ego argues...it will look insane and i wont make a dime...go teach people to create from their spirits my guides say and i say back no one signs up for classes...teach it they insist...find a way...meanwhile i am broke and frustrated with money and housing issues...
the guides tell me to do this or that and i say no way...at the same time i WANT to drum more and i WANT to paint more spirited paintings and i LOVE teaching...
i hold on to my blankie and yet that blankie is a smelly, nasty bit of cloth now...almost gone in fact...yet i cling to it...
what do i cling to?....ego...fear of being unkindly judged...yep...big old dumb brute childish greedy selfish EGO...
so ego ya gotta go!...you keep coming in and messing up my happiness...you keep me from doing more good for myself and others...
this morning i did a journey and i was standing in the middle of my soul...a lush green place...a deer came to me and from her back a drum was shed...i picked it up and knew i was in the presence of a very powerful guide...i hadnt seen her in a long time...as i was drumming my inner world filled with many animals and trees and a natural spring bubbled through the ground and formed a pond...boulders pushed up through the earth...birds flew...and flowers bloomed...
how could i not follow my bliss in this place...how could i not be myself...my true self...fully...and how could i not take it out into my daily world...
so today i go to the water near me and stand in it with my drum...i am going to drum in a public place!...and offer healing to all who need it...if you need healing...emotionally, spiritually, physically...it is there for you...i will be drumming at noon my time...but the ribbons of healing will be within your reach anytime you need them...simply close your eyes and reach for them and wrap them around your wound, your suffering, your pain...it is a ribbon of watery light...cool, calm, gentle...full of love and peace and kindness...just for you...
No comments:
Post a Comment