sublime

many years ago i came to maine for the first time...as i crossed the state line and began to see the pine trees windswept and whispering wildly of this enchanted place i thought to myself "i am home"...each time i cross into maine i feel this...

i have missed maine...unable to get to her as often as i wish...the last time i was suppose to go was a couple of years ago...a trip all around it with karen, elf king...she knew so much about trees and was eager to see moose...we planned to hit the coast and make our way up to my old stomping grounds...then to the interior...but she had cancer and i took a different journey with her...she never got to see the moose but she most certainly dances in the boughs of trees and sees moose now along with so many other amazing things out in nature...

as i have taken myself down a profound path of healing these past couple of years i have often had a strong pull towards maine...i think of jasper beach near machias, maine...i think of the quoddy bog in lubec...campobello island where i lived and the sounds of the coy dogs crying out through the night air...the endless hikes and the deep moss of the woods...the eagles overhead and the harbor seals darting in and out of the tidal waters...

i wish to go there this fall if i can and walk a few of those places again...

where i went this trip was above portland...and the word that keeps coming to describe this place and the women gathered there is "sublime"...every morsel of every minute there was precious...i was with a cabin full of women who were snoring through the night (they sounded like peepers in a pond...one would start to snore and they would all join in)...i found the snoring to be more comforting than anything...i rested in this den of women...i relaxed into the folds of darkness and slipped into a peaceful sleep...

the night came with owl cries and calls as well...morning prayer was sung by the loons on the lake...i walked to the water's edge barefoot and waded in to my knees...i softly sung my morning prayer...and then i took my camera out and discovered the small wonders that had popped up over night...my sweet little friends the mushrooms...

my arms wrapped around a very expressive tree and i gave her a hug as her spirit hugged me back...

i straddled her as if she were a horse and watched the sun kiss the lake good morning...mist rising slowly and then splash!...a woman leaped into the water and re-emerged like a happy dolphin...

another tree called out to me...and another and another...hugging them as i walked along the soft hips of the shore...

with each hour there were new sights and sounds which drew me into the healing i was experiencing...women drumming...a native song sung...ah there is just so much...and then...there was this one incredible evening fire...a dragonfly coming into the cirlce of women...and her message to me was "open up, open up, open up"

i had shut down my heart so much these past few years...i had given up my own life in a way...i had taken to an aloneness which was ending me...grief and sadness were my companions...i felt the light of my life leave me...darkness crowded my heart...yet the being behind the human was not done...even as i sank lower into suffering...even as parts of my life fell away...i felt the endless well of faith rise up in me...i would find my way...i would find it in nature and in the kind energy others have applied to my days like a healing balm...

and i was liked in maine...alot:)...my artwork was appreciated and i got plenty of hugs...i laughed...i felt more myself than i have in a long time...i smiled from deep inside me outward...i breathed...in and out with no stress catching in my throat...i sighed happy sighs and not sighs of discouragement...i spoke from my open heart and rarely doubted myself...

leaving early was hard but on return irene hit...the wind and rain and power outage...the days of simple living and quiet nights...letting my thoughts drift like a leaf sailing along on that peaceful maine lake...new friendships made...old souls reconnecting...soul sisters found...gentle words given to others...kind words received...

in these new days i give myself strong words of courage and loving words of healing...life is good...