the death mask

i have awakened early and with odd thoughts of a death mask on my face...so i have gotten up and journeyed into this vision...this is my journey....

i was in a cave and laid out on a slab of cold stone...i couldnt move...as if dead but my mind was alive with thought...a mask of natural materials was on my face...my opened hands were filled with the heads of small white flowers...at my feet a bowl of water...at the top of my head a small vessel of fire...on my chest a circle of small stones...

i couldnt move yet i saw my body and saw the others there to mourn me...i felt their sadness...yet i was not sad...i was simply there...not afraid...not concerned...in fact i was relaxed...i felt finally at home...

i was feeling the air in the room and the stone slab as the same...as if each had their own "vibe" but not the same "value"...it is hard to describe this part and the next...but as best as i can put it into words i journeyed into my own form at a level i have never experienced before and yet felt natural...i felt this human body as a precious collection of being...each part broken down into smaller and smaller...i was in my hand and yet was then in a bit of tissue...and then smaller and smaller and floating through the body...to the brain...to the brain that still had consciousness yet no "life"...it was simply there waiting to find its way out to meet up with me...

and that is when i realized the consciousness and the soul are separate...they need to integrate...the soul had left the body but the consciousness simply was/is there in the thought center...and then would expand outward along a thread of thought running through everything...the soul is more of a traveller...a bit of consciousness with a unique vibe which can go to meet up with other souls or stay in the body or reach into other times and places...memories or other peoples thoughts can be the transportation of the soul...god/the source/the unseen is the place of soul...hard to describe this knowing...it is as if the soul of my presence is inside gods soul...trippy...lol...

it was fascinating to journey like this...the consciousness left the body and connected with the soul..."we" then travelled out to places together...finding others dreaming...awake and struggling...one crying and feeling a great sense of loss...there was no sense of time or the weight of negative emotions...i...this consciousness and this soul...they...i...it...was a calm but profound amplifier of love...a love so soft and so gentle...so tender and so peaceful...simple words describe it but could never capture this immense love...it went on forever....though no time was where i was...

i simply went to each person i knew and sat with them for a bit...letting each one drink in the love...each ones higher self communed with me...it was so beautiful to finally express my love and gratitude in such a way...there was such peace...

and then i was suddenly in a place of green...i was approached by this single thought...this can be your life...this level of peace and acceptance can be your life...to love and to simply be...to unframe the picture of who you thought you were and accept who you really are...

the body on the stone slab moved and sat up and yet this body was not me...it was a body...i had to actually reattach myself to form and it was difficult...once i did i had to accept the limitation of form...i walked from the cave and then into the green...soul consciousness reached out...i was with a tall tree...and suddenly i was the tree...and then a brook...and then a bird...a few people i love closely were before me and i was them...in them i felt myself in a hand...a leg...an eye...

i got it...the connective current of consciousness...the removal of commitment to my fear of death had occurred...suddenly i expanded my thoughts even more...i saw myself waking from a dream with a death mask because i had been dreaming of someone who is afraid of death and essentially her own life...the thought came...if she hides out from life and never lives it then she unconsciously is thinking on a level she will not approach her own death because she is always waiting for her life to be lived...yet time is forcing her to deal with this fear...this fear placed in her as a child...her wounding moments which she has carried with her all these seasons of life....she is afraid of what awaits her in death...she is afraid of the after life...she is afraid still of what she experienced as a child...she is a consumed ego of fear...it IS trippy stuff i tell ya...lol...

and in her fears i found mine...yet i am in this journey accepting the thought which is...we are not our deaths or the ending of others...we are not the death which comes to claim us or others...we are never dead...and never will be...i absolutely know my equality of existence...i know my body will fall away and i will be unmasked completely...i now can feel a complete connection with everything...

my life is simply in the breath of the moment...in the single heartbeat which courses blood through my veins...and yet...

i am not my body...i am my integrated consciousness who has met up and accepted the soul...and these two parts of what is me and all has now come together this morning...it is as if i have died to an idea of self and now am reborn to my true self at last...the being i always should have been but had separated from in childhood from influences of damaged beings placed in my presence...

so many of us this year seem to be awakening to this knowing without knowing...until we fully know...there is struggle in it...to deal with death of one way of thinking and being and expand into what should have been our path if it had not been polluted by dysfunctions...

i sense others are waking up to their more blessed existence...the struggle to let go and accept is so intense and yet it is a must...i know for myself the moment i found the root cause of my suffering and removed it i was freed...

out of the journey now i feel somehow lighter...as if all of my body is stretched over a large space yet none at all...i am more aware of the sounds outside...the cold of this room...the touch of my fingertips onto keys...the sleepy feelings in my eyes...the soreness in my foot....i am aware of my breath...my heartbeat...my happiness...