peacemaker

i did a journey this morning about being peaceful and being centered...i wanted to understand the moment i drift from my center and am not peaceful or have peaceful thoughts...i also wanted to restore the temple altar within me that holds my core values and self worth...someone had given me an image of a box that held all good thoughts about me and so i wished to journey to this place with a strong guide and be shown how to empower this place within me...

i went to the place beyond places...it didnt feel like the lower or upper or middle world...i didnt have a body...my guide was a shimmering singing cluster of clear crystals...i was standing in my soul's temple surrounded by endless beauty and pure love...a stream of light filled the sky above me...sounds of indescribable beauty sung overhead as well...flowers filled the area i stood in...

a simple table stood empty...the guide told me to fill it with all that was precious to me...and so i filled it with framed photos of those i love...friends, family, those i admire...then favorite books...to kill a mockingbird, silas mariner, emerson essays and others...then music playing i love coming from an old stereo i had as a young adult...my drum...rocks, sticks, feathers, shells, bits of nature...and then the box...a pale blue top...

in this box i pulled out words...colleen is kind, colleen is strong, colleen is a good artist, colleen is compassionate, colleen is soulful, colleen is happy, colleen is beautiful, colleen is desirable, colleen is important to others, colleen is loved, colleen is a good friend, colleen has worth...on and on the notes read this way...i struggled to accept what some of them said...so the guide had me read those over many times...

in the end there was one last item i placed on the altar...it was a ring...a simple ring...a promise...that i will not be alone...that i will allow love in and be loving...it is as simple as this really...to make peace i must make peace within myself...to remove my fears of being alone...to remove my fears of being unlovable...to remove my fears and be at peace...to live right now...today as if i have those things that are important to me...because i do...i really do...

and so i begin my day...a sacred day of being a peacemaker...for when you create peace in yourself the world is made more peaceful...