i journeyed to the owl tree i go to sometimes...owl gave me a teaching on being focused...making decisions that are sound and productive...to be with my own kind and learn and teach...to be efficient in my hours and in my movements and resources...to not be wasteful of anything...
to be ready for what is coming...to be patient and understanding...to act on what i am called upon to do and not hesitate...to open up even more of myself and to step onto a new path...
i surrender to this...
then dragonfly came and showed me a green field and so many flowers talking at once...but i heard one above all others...it didnt speak loudly but i was drawn to it...it was gentle and soft spoken...it let me rest upon one of its leaves as it spoke..."you are coming home to yourself...open to the power of love...artist...building the archway of the three pillars for others to enter into...you are creating the primal opening for yourself and others...all space becoming sacred as you clear it...you are the crystal prism light passes through...you are a shaman..."
as i came from this journey i realized something i said to someone in the past few days has still been coursing through me...when i said i feel as if i need to study with a teacher coming to rhode island so that i am taken more seriously...so much which was grassroots and intuitive has become academic...because we became a country further up from the ground and disconnected...i realized i was feeling this outside feeling and this pressure to have a teacher...so i would be accepted in a way i am not now...letters after your name bias seems to be happening alot lately...if you study with someone it gives you legitimacy and more respect in this spiritual culture...if you charge more for your services you are considered an expert or master of what you do...it is similar to the art world...and i was feeling this pressure...to conform...to assimilate...to be brought into a community of others and be accepted...yet i felt owl's presence telling me i AM home....
i am part of everything and that is my community...some are after the brass ring of enlightenment in an ego feeding way...i have received the grace of knowing and as i need to know something or meet up with a teacher this will happen...for now i am at ease with who and what i am...at peace and comfortable with my way...my new way...and what i felt a few days ago...that i am not a shaman til i receive a western mind's stamp of approval is simply not true...i am a shaman and an artist in the most sacred expression of both...
i will follow up with a journey about this and do more work around what direction to go in...now i release this feeling of needing to be like others in that mainstream sense...
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